23 Aug 2024, 10:52

Private Connection Coaching for Men

Barefoot Rob on phone with you

Do you constantly desire to be liked and accepted by people?

Do you feel a deep sense of despair and loneliness?

Do you dim yourself down in order to fit in?

If you said YES, you’re not alone.

Growing up as a young man, my heart was closed to real connection and intimacy. I sought sex with no strings attached, cheated on my partners, and said yes to engagement and marriage for the sake of security. I was constantly chasing validation and attention from women. It seemed normal to me! But in reality, I was driven by desperation and an insatiable thirst for love and acceptance.

Now I’m a leader of men, having grown ManKind Project Japan for 9 years, inspiring and training men to lead the group (or their own group!) After letting go of a 12 year marriage that had become dysfunctional and giving my ex-wife our house, I finally discovered who I truly am as a heart-centered man. Today I Iive in a place of alignment with my dream woman who encourages me to be a better version of myself each day.

What would happen if you let go of your stories of inadequacy as your identity?

What if you were guided by a healthy and functional man to model your truth of masculinity?

How would you feel to thrive in your vision of life?

What Men Are Saying

“Rob is amazing. He is a perfect facilitator in every way. He is caring, kind, self-effacing, honest. Ten out of ten.”

– Andy Boerger

“Rob has been an enormous blessing in my life. His facilitation work, guidance, and leadership have helped me to sense, understand, express and process my own emotions. In my personal experience Rob is excellent at both counseling and facilitation. He can serve a wide range of clients because he doesn’t have his own agenda, and pays close attention to the subjective and personal aspects of one’s emotions, life circumstances, and individual values, goals, or priorities. Whether you are struggling with overwhelming emotions, seeking greater self understanding, or simply desire more clarity about the direction you want to go in life, Rob can provide the space, tools, and support for you to discover your own wisdom.”

– Nathan Brandli

“Rob, you have helped me immensely for a long period of time. And I know that you have a talent for facilitation. In fact everybody in this whole group knows what great facilitation you do and how you are able to tune into people and help them to get through and go on to find the deeper level of their beings.”

– Will Ewing

Now It’s Your Turn!

If you’re ready to reclaim your power as a man, I invite you to join my personalized program called Discover Your Gold. This 3-month journey is designed to help you explore your inner landscape, rise in your leadership, create a healthy balance between your masculine and feminine energies, and be in alignment with who you are to live authentically from your heart.

Book a free discovery call with me on Zoom here: https://calendly.com/robnugen/discovery. This will help us determine if we’re the right fit to work together. I look forward to connecting with you and learning how I can best support you on your journey to becoming the man you want to be.

25 Feb 2023, 11:15

Are you getting your RDA of Vitamin T?

Are you getting your recommended daily allowance of Vitamin Touch?

If you’re an American in Japan, probably not.

Maybe you like it this way. Maybe not.

In either case, there’s a physical touch barrier in Tokyo, unless in trains.

Why are there women-only carriages on trains?

Physical touch is a fundamental human need that is essential for healthy development and well-being. People who lack physical touch may experience increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for those deprived of physical touch to seek it out through other means, which can sometimes lead to inappropriate or harmful behavior.

Have you ever heard of Harlow’s monkey experiment? Conducted by psychologist Harry Harlow in the 1950s, the experiment involved separating baby monkeys from their mothers and providing them with two surrogate “mothers” - one made of wire with a bottle of milk, and the other covered in a soft terrycloth but without milk. The baby monkeys spent more time clinging to the cloth surrogate, even when it meant foregoing food from the wire surrogate, indicating that contact comfort and emotional attachment were more important to them than their physiological needs.

Touch is as critical as food, just not in the obvious ways of starving to death without it. Lack of physical touch decreases our emotional well-being.

Put another way, physical touch increases our emotional well being. Our bodies hold our emotional history. I’ve been talking about that for years.

I started a men’s group here to create a place to get those emotions out in a safe container.

Now I’m creating a consent group to create a place to explore physical touch in a safe container.

Each Cuddle Party starts with an hour-long mini workshop where we explore the rules of consent and communication in a touch-positive environment. Participants have the opportunity to practice setting boundaries and expressing their desires in a safe and non-judgmental space. The remainder of the event is dedicated to consensual touch and cuddling, where participants can connect with others in a platonic and nurturing way. Cuddle Parties can be a powerful tool for promoting emotional well-being and creating a sense of community through safe, consensual touch.

The parties are about getting back to basics: Communication basics: No means No.

Physiological basics: the first communication between mother and infant is through touch.

If you’re still reading (and agreeing!) I’d love to have you at my next Cuddle Party event.

I am the first person in Japan seeking accreditation from Cuddle Party HQ in the US. All events are conducted in English as the core of the event is a communication workshop about consent.. You don’t have to cuddle anyone at a cuddle Party. You can just sit be present with yourself. This is part of the ground rules which form the basis of the Welcome Circle.

I was crying for a hug in my first 3 months in Japan. If this resonates with you, let’s share a hug, with consent.

Come get your Vitamin T and your heart filled with connection.

I don’t expect to change Japanese culture; I just seek to create a safe place for us within the culture to share the Vitamin Touch we need.

31 Aug 2022, 16:12

Why you should walk barefoot (draft)

power of positivity Scientists-Explain-What-Happens-To-Your-Body-When-You-Walk-Barefoot

I declare walking barefoot is a starting point.

It’s one of many starting points on the journey to self discovery. Who are you? Why are you here (on earth)?

For most people, wearing shoes has become the norm. Taking off the shoes allows one to experience a whole lot of sensations! Per area, there are more nerve endings on our feet than on our hands.

Hundreds of people have joined my barefoot walks. For those who have forgotten what barefooting is like, taking off their shoes outside results in a lot of Wow! There’s so many sensations!

Then after the mind calms down a bit, we can remember “oh that’s right! I have feet!” Then expand our awareness: “oh yes I have a body!”

Then go a bit more subtle from the physical body: wow not just physical sensations, I have emotions! Then, ooh emotions! How do I deal with them?

Then we learn a bit and discover emotions are like a guidance system for living. They help us navigate the world when used properly.

Feel angry? set a boundary.

Feel sad? it’s time to grieve.

Feel guilt? it’s time to apologize.

Feel fear? time to dive in deeper into the emotions.
Is it fear based on a real external thing? get more info or run away! Is it fear based on an old story? Is it mixed with excitement? You might just be onto the next best thing in your life. Go for it! (See Pressfield’s book Do The Work)

PART 2:

but wait, there’s more!

Awareness of our body and emotions is nice, but what about just using our body the way it’s designed?

Humans have taken to standing, so we need to balance. Your feet are a big part of that.

Do you cover your eyes to read? Why cover your feet to balance? Allowing your feet to give your brain info about balance is great.

Allowing your feet to actively maintain your balance is even better.

Set your toes free! Let them wiggle and explore the world. Let them do their job of telling you where you are and how you’re standing.

That way they grow strong and keep you living longer.

Seriously.

People who can balance on one foot for more than ten seconds LIVE LONGER.

What?

Yeah when you’re 80 years old, lose your balance and fall over, you might die right there, or at least probably going to break a bone, which tends to break the spirit being held up in bed with busted hip or whatever.

Simple solution: take off your shoes now! Allow your toes to actively balance!

Start wiggling those toes. Like building muscles, strength improves over time.

Can you play rock paper scissors with your feet? It’s not just a funny game; it can help you live longer!

12 Jul 2022, 09:52

Explore your world with Barefoot Rob

2022 07 09 Barefoot Rob presenting at KSGG in Yokohama, Japan

This was such a fun event! I spoke for 30 minutes and did Mystery Box game for 20 minutes wow!

2022 07 09 1657363889304 2022 07 09 1657363889660 2022 07 09 1657363889821 2022 07 09 1657363889890 2022 07 09 1657363889941 2022 07 09 1657363890009 2022 07 09 dinner after speech

2022 07 07 jennie claims mystery box 2022 07 07 jennie inspects mystery box

22 Jun 2022, 11:30

How long have you been carrying your path?

Like many people I know, I’ve got a TODO list about 25 miles long (40 km), tangled up in knots in my head, stacked on my desk, on shelves in various places, waiting patiently in my inbox.. Plus all the things I should be doing, (like this newsletter) but haven’t, for an untold number of reasons.

The main excuse for not writing my newsletter these days is that I should be working on my “real” work. I haven’t yet replaced my “real” work with my heart-centered work, so my real work gets in the way.

I’ve been carrying this real work with me for years and years, like a heavy rock that weighs me down.

Just today I heard an idea from Miki, one of my friends who I’d also like to call one of my mentors as well. This came from one of her ancestors, so with respect to Miki’s ancestor, I will share with you:

"What you let go of becomes your path."

By releasing things that take mental / physical / financial space in life, we can release ourselves to move forward. Instead of carrying these things like old rocks, we can put them down so they become paving stones for our path forward.

Have you been carrying something that has outlived its service in your life? Does putting it down make sense, but cause anxiety for you when you think about it?

Let’s talk, in a deep coaching conversation. We’ll explore your situation deeply, giving you ample time and space to get clarity on how to move forward.

Love and Blessings

  • Rob

22 Jun 2022, 11:27

Synchronicity story

Hello You!

Just a moment ago I had another amazing synchronicity just after doing morning prayers.

A couple years ago, I bought padded foam flooring to put around my desk area, ostensibly to protect the wooden floor, but also to catch my computer mouse when it falls. (It’s a Bluetooth trackball mouse so when it falls, the ball rolls across the floor to a far corner while the battery and battery cover each go their own direction, leaving me crawling under my desk to retrieve the pieces.) The padding was supposed to keep the mouse from causing such a commotion, interrupting my flow, etc.

The padding never worked. I cannot remember a time it actually kept the mouse from hitting the floor and doing its part of increasing entropy in the world.

Just a moment ago, after doing my morning prayers, I hit upon the idea of putting the single remaining piece of padding where I can stand on it while praying. In doing so, I bumped the mouse from its perch and it landed right on the padding. The ball fell out but stayed right there. The battery even stayed in its case.

Wow. That’s the first time that’s happened! I guess God approves of me staying in touch more frequently. It was like the universe said “Yes, I encourage prayer.”

Over the past few weeks I have been showering the universe with gratitudes and receiving a shower of synchronicities in reply.

I’ll keep it short for now; I plan to stay in touch more frequently (weekly!?).

blessings - Rob

PS: if you’re in Tokyo, I’m co-facilitating a visionboard workshop this coming Sunday in Shinjuku from 4pm - 8pm. 8800 yen. https://portrait-of-your-soul.peatix.com/

13 Jun 2022, 07:47

Rob Nugen Barefoot walking event in Town News May 2022

May 2022 Town News article about Rob Nugen's walking
event in ShinYuri Art Park

(image credit: 中島なかじま崇雄たかお)

2022 june article town news rob nugen

2022 june machine translated article town news rob nugen

28 Jan 2022, 07:57

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27 Dec 2021, 14:11

Why walk barefoot? (unshod.org)

From http://unshod.org/

Overview of
Take Off Your Shoes and Walk
by Simon J. Wikler D.S.C.
   (Doctor of Surgical Chiropody)


For easier printing -- The full extract

Introduction  by Thomas Hale, Jr., M.D. Director, Albany Hospital Albany, N.Y.

. . . practically all shoes worn daily by men and women in our Western civilization have little relation to the shape of the human foot . . ."

. . . most adults' foot trouble would either not exist or would be much less bothersome if properly-shaped shoes had been worn during childhood or, better yet, if those people had gone barefoot . . .

How Shoes Cripple Our Feet

. . .  I asked an older physician on the hospital staff what he thought could be done to cure foot trouble. "Foot troubles are chronic conditions people have had for a long time," he advised. "You'll waste your time trying to find their cause and cure. Be content just to give people all the relief you possibly can." . . .

. . . I could no longer doubt that poor feet contributed to poor posture and associated illnesses . . .

. . . as I traveled about the interior of the island where many of the people are habitually barefooted, I was amazed to find that they all had straight, undeformed toes, unlike the shoe-confined toes I had seen and treated in the United States . . .

. . . I read a number of studies which, together with what I had seen, proved to me that habitually barefooted people do not acquire our foot troubles . . .

. . . Besides having sturdy toes and muscular feet, the people who were constantly barefooted did not have fallen arches . . .
Image1.gif (5849 bytes)

. . .  His toes were being forced together in narrow shoes . . . He tired easily, always wanted to be carried, and fell frequently when walking . . . his toes [were] so weak he could hardly bend them . . .

. . . Remembering the healthy feet and strong toes of the people who were constantly barefooted, I suggested the child wear no shoes for the rest of the summer . . .

. . .  an amazing thing happened. He finally stopped leaning on his arches; he started to walk straighter and more normally . . .

. . . Most people continue to acquire permanently and unnecessarily deformed feet simply because of the evolution of a fashion which started a hundred years ago . . .

The History of Foot Trouble

. . . There is no record of foot troubles in Biblical times comparable to modern foot ills . . .

. . . The seeds of foot trouble were first sown, however, in the Renaissance . . .

. . . The introduction of the elevated heel and the pointed toe marked the beginning of modern foot disabilities . . .

. . . This class could afford hand-made shoes. Soon, their children's feet were being molded to resemble the tiny, delicate feet of aristocrats . . .

. . . In 1858, Lyman R. Blake invented shoe machinery that could attach soles to uppers . . . Within five years, shoe manufacturing had developed to a point where everyone could afford to wear the shoes of an aristocrat . . .

. . . Never in the history of mankind had a population so willfully and so innocently disfigured a vital part of their body . .

. . . In the 1880's . . .  a new sickness -- exhaustive chronic fatigue-which was afflicting portions of American and Western European populations . . .

. . . About 1915 a wave of reform began to take place . . . people had only to squeeze their toes into a space about one half the proper breadth. While this was an improvement, it was not great enough to prevent deformation of the feet . . .

. . . Grandmothers with gnarled toes would scold their grandchildren and insist no one could possibly walk without support in their shoes. Yet, those who disregarded that advice are the ones who have the better feet today . . .

. . . If a lesson about foot trouble can be learned from history, it is that we are at the mercy of the latest shoe styles . . . fashion has dictated a return to the pointed-toed shoes of fifty years ago . . . As a result, the bunions and compressed toes of our grandparents are again being formed in children's feet . . .

The Shoe Industry and Foot Health

. . . Every child who wears present-day shoes has his feet distorted to some degree . . .

    . . . I spent a day in such a shoe store observing the operation.

    "How can you sell these corrective shoes," I asked the owner. "You insist on the necessity of 'arch cookies,' 'cuboids,' 'metatarsal supports,' and so on-yet from the continuous complaints of customers, you know that these supports are of no help to the feet. How do you justify this?"

    "It's a wonderful living," the owner commented. "Besides, I always instruct them to do certain exercises. They never do them. When they complain too much about their feet, I say, 'Well, did you do the exercises?'  That usually shuts them up." . . .

    . . . Dr. Lee Bivings, a pediatrician from Atlanta, estimates 99% of new born babies have perfectly normal feet - and in his clinic more than 6o% of these same, shoe-wearing babies have acquired foot disabilities at six years of age . . .

Preventing Children's Foot Trouble

. . . You would not think of keeping your baby from moving his hands and wiggling his fingers. You would not swaddle his hands and fingers. Why, then, swaddle his feet and toes? . . .

. . . the baby should play barefooted in a play pen. When he starts to creep and crawl on the carpeted floors, he should be allowed to crawl barefooted . . .

. . . Infants' feet do not have to be protected from the cold nearly as much as some adults think. Babies need no more protection for their feet when crawling on a cold floor than they do for their hands . . .

. . . Be firm, and find a store where the shoe in your child's size is flexible through the arch . . .

. . . Shoes that have raises inside them are also likely to have other arch support features, all of them deforming . . .

. . . Mothers must be prepared to have uninformed shoe clerks protest vigorously at their insisting on wider shoes . . .

. . . It is not enough that children's feet be free from deforming shoes - foot health also depends upon going barefoot in order to develop agility and strength in the feet 

. . . For toddlers, shoes should be worn outdoors only during inclement weather and indoors only for infrequent dress-up occasions . . .
firststeps.jpg (11065 bytes)

. . . Your child will have straighter, stronger toes and denser muscles on the bottom of his feet. You will be amazed to discover that other children's toes will be skinny and weak, even gnarled . . .

. . . Moreover, children's toes are deformed without their feeling the slightest pain . . .

. . . Children whose feet are healthy do not need a shoe for support; they need a shoe only for protection . . .

. . . If you had the occasion to examine as many feet as I have, you would instantly be able to detect those who have had the opportunity to go barefoot as children . . .

Care of Fallen Arches in Children

. . . Imagine putting heavy leather mittens on an infant's hands from the first months of life, leather mittens which fit snugly, so that the child's fingers are pressed together so tightly he can hardly move them . . .

. . . Babies appear to have flat feet because of the thick layer of baby fat present in every infant's arch . . .

. . . A fourth misconception is that it is not good for a child to have short, square feet, as he will surely have fallen arches. Actually, that is how undeformed feet should look, but since children's feet are so commonly deformed, even most doctors hardly ever see a normal pair and the myth continues . . .

. . . treatment for the young child is very simple, and can easily be carried out at home. Simply put aside all his shoes and stockings and allow him to walk barefooted . . .

The girl was wearing such stiff arch-support shoes that she could not possibly move her feet inside them . . . . The little girl had begun to cry at night because of pains in her legs . . . I advised the mother to discard her child's shoes and let her walk barefooted at all times . . . By the end of the sixth week, she stopped having pains in her legs at night. . . . , and her feet had become much more muscular and sturdy . . .

. . . Third, the child must be given the opportunity to go barefoot for a part of the day, preferably three hours a day . . .

Sweating Feet

. . . Accumulated sweat is accumulated waste which decays on feet which are covered . . . The barefooted child whose feet are soiled with dirt from lawns or floors of the house, would in this sense have cleaner feet than a child who has worn a shoe and stocking all day . . .

Barefooted Children Have Better Feet

. . . children who had the opportunity of going barefoot a great deal, had less deformed toes, greater flexor strength, more ability to spread the toes. They also had denser muscles on the bottom of the feet; greater agility than those who had never gone barefoot . . .

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11 Nov 2021, 18:44

A few rules that help light my path

A few rules that help light my path:

  • Walk with kindred spirits. I walk barefoot. Most people don’t. That’s fine. but if I’m not accepted for how I show up, it’s best to not work together.
  • Seek your own inner guidance. Feelings are a well-honed natural guidance system for life. Hear AniKiko’s “Follow the Whispers
  • Play hard. Beastie Boys said “My work is my play cause I’m playing when I work”
  • Do the right thing. We are playing a long game. Prioritize long term thinking over short term gain.
  • Get N’Sync. “You don’t have to be alone.” Work with a partner. I tend to spiral off course otherwise.
  • Be selfish as needed. It’s OK to take care of yourself. If I am not feeling well, I cannot safely support others.