Are you getting your recommended daily allowance of Vitamin Touch?

If you’re an American in Japan, probably not.

Maybe you like it this way. Maybe not.

In either case, there’s a physical touch barrier in Tokyo, unless in trains.

Why are there women-only carriages on trains?

Physical touch is a fundamental human need that is essential for healthy development and well-being. People who lack physical touch may experience increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for those deprived of physical touch to seek it out through other means, which can sometimes lead to inappropriate or harmful behavior.

Have you ever heard of Harlow’s monkey experiment? Conducted by psychologist Harry Harlow in the 1950s, the experiment involved separating baby monkeys from their mothers and providing them with two surrogate “mothers” - one made of wire with a bottle of milk, and the other covered in a soft terrycloth but without milk. The baby monkeys spent more time clinging to the cloth surrogate, even when it meant foregoing food from the wire surrogate, indicating that contact comfort and emotional attachment were more important to them than their physiological needs.

Touch is as critical as food, just not in the obvious ways of starving to death without it. Lack of physical touch decreases our emotional well-being.

Put another way, physical touch increases our emotional well being. Our bodies hold our emotional history. I’ve been talking about that for years.

I started a men’s group here to create a place to get those emotions out in a safe container.

Now I’m creating a consent group to create a place to explore physical touch in a safe container.

Each Cuddle Party starts with an hour-long mini workshop where we explore the rules of consent and communication in a touch-positive environment. Participants have the opportunity to practice setting boundaries and expressing their desires in a safe and non-judgmental space. The remainder of the event is dedicated to consensual touch and cuddling, where participants can connect with others in a platonic and nurturing way. Cuddle Parties can be a powerful tool for promoting emotional well-being and creating a sense of community through safe, consensual touch.

The parties are about getting back to basics: Communication basics: No means No.

Physiological basics: the first communication between mother and infant is through touch.

If you’re still reading (and agreeing!) I’d love to have you at my next Cuddle Party event.

I am the first person in Japan seeking accreditation from Cuddle Party HQ in the US. All events are conducted in English as the core of the event is a communication workshop about consent.. You don’t have to cuddle anyone at a cuddle Party. You can just sit be present with yourself. This is part of the ground rules which form the basis of the Welcome Circle.

I was crying for a hug in my first 3 months in Japan. If this resonates with you, let’s share a hug, with consent.

Come get your Vitamin T and your heart filled with connection.

I don’t expect to change Japanese culture; I just seek to create a safe place for us within the culture to share the Vitamin Touch we need.